Day 4 was mostly slept through
Sleep
I had no energy. Not to eat, not to open my laptop or read or watch TV.
Compassion
I discovered that not all nurses have the same level of compassion. It could be for any number of reasons, from a bad day, to doing it for too long. But my nurse on Friday night made me realize that for her, she is just completing a task list.
- Hang patient one's chemo at 9
- Give patient 2 a pill at 9:15
- Ask patient 3 how he is feeling.
It was clear she did not care about me personally in any way.
In fact no nurses on the floor have said "Oh is that a picture of your daughter? How cute?" or any of the personal type of stuff that was so common on the Bone Marrow Transplant floor. Even if they don't care--it at least gives the appearance.
The same was true Saturday. I had a very efficient male nurse. He was fast and effective, but I could have just as easily been a car as a patient.
Getting two of these nurses in a row is disheartening.
All of this lack of caring and compassion made me sad.
Hair Hurts
Saturday night it was time to change the dressing on my port. This mass of tape and gauze sits on my chest within a nice patch of chest hair.
Removing it was excruciating. I had to take breaks as we (the nurse) and I worked our way around the edge trying to take it off. She tried cutting some hair with scissors. It was all awful.
As she put on the new dressing, she shaved away some hair, but not the hair under the dressing--which means I think have to go through all of that again.
I dread it.
All of that left me in pain.
Posts
OUCH!!!! My bother put racing tape on my chest once when I had drank a little to much the night before. It took me 2 days to get that damn tape off.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you might get to go home after this round. I know that it so much better to be at home with nurses that love you.
Hey Adrian, I just wanted to log on and say hello. I've been keeping up with your blogging...and you do it well. I am jealous of some of your verbage...I get my Reader's Digest dictionary out frequently as I read your entries, LOL. Dave's Mom was a nurse in NICU for many years...try not to get disheartened at those nurses that are going through the motions. Think of what they've seen, then it may be easier to forgive. Hopefully the love that surrounds you can help that funk. Our thoughts and prayers are continuing with you and your family...Barbi & Gang
ReplyDeleteThanks so much all--and yes--part of the problem with the nurses may well have been my own grumpiness and impatience. In general it all got better after this.
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