Day 8, 9 (Wednesday and Thursday)

I am home.

Coming Home

It's wonderful being home. 

This trip to the hospital, though much shorter, was much harder on me emotionally. I think I was down most of the time and sometimes pretty low. Everything from the room, to my little altercations along the way, to my exhaustion impacted me, but I think I was just more emotionally negative too. They said one of the chemos can do that--but if it did--it was just one of the contributing factors.

When I got home though I was so shell shocked from the whole thing that it was not until today that I started to feel normal or feel like I was happy to be home. I was happy to not be in the hospital, and happy to see Jen and Anna, but I could just not absorb my surroundings because I was so inwardly focused. Not sure if that makes sense, but I was uptight and closed off, and still down.

Home

It's great to be home now though. 

Even though I spend most of the time laying around without much energy--just watching the trees out the window or a TV show with Anna or just staring off, resting--it is great to be with the ones I love in my own space.

It's a little hard not being able to participate in everything like I would like to. Even though I am home, I am still sick/recovering, and can't got to the art festival with Jen and Anna, or to a community fair this weekend put on by a group I am an active member of, or a community meet and greet this week, or even to the park or a restaurant. 

All of that is a little disappointing, but really--small potatoes compared to the happiness of being home.

Outpatient

I went for my first outpatient visit today. I will be getting my neupogen shots, to kickstart my white blood cell production, every day at the outpatient center. It's wonderful living so close to the hospital because it is an easy trip.

The office is great--very calm and seems to run smooth as can be. You have an appointment and actually get seen by a nurse within minutes of arriving. So you just check in, get your shot, and go.

I am convinced it's so smooth because it's all run by nurses. :)

Good News

Oh, and some small things I may have forgotten to mention.

1. We found the woolly hat. Jen had taken it with some dirty clothes to wash--hurray!
2. Night sweats seem to have been a side effect of antibiotics, not the chemo, because I have not been having them for some time now. (Of course it could have been the neupogen too I guess--will have to wait and see, but for now at least, it's nice to wake up dry.)

Recovery

So--other than my daily neupogen excursion--I will be here, at home, puttering around, avoiding diseases, resting up, and mostly sleeping, while my bone marrow does its thing to make me some new strong blood.